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“I didn’t expect the kids to have a complete meltdown over leaving their treehouse.”
Those were the words Jennifer shared with me as we completed the final walkthrough of her family’s Chambersburg home. This working mother of two had successfully managed a job transfer to Harrisburg, found a great house in an excellent school district, and handled every logistical detail flawlessly. Yet there she stood watching her 8-year-old son sobbing in the backyard, refusing to leave the wooden treehouse his dad had built three summers ago.
If you’ve ever moved with children—whether across town or across the country—you know that Jennifer’s experience isn’t unusual. Moving isn’t just about relocating your belongings; it’s about transitioning your family’s heart, identity, and sense of home. After two decades of guiding families through moves of all kinds, I’ve learned that acknowledging and preparing for the emotional aspects of moving is just as important for kids as it is for adults.
Why Moving Hits So Hard (Even When It’s Your Choice)
Moving consistently ranks among life’s top stressors, right alongside divorce, job loss, and major illness. But why? Even when we’re excited about our destination, the process of leaving can feel overwhelming. Here’s what I’ve observed:
The Grief is Real
Every move involves loss. You’re losing familiar surroundings, routines, neighbors, and memories embedded in physical spaces. The grief you feel isn’t dramatic—it’s natural and necessary.
Identity Disruption
We often define ourselves by where we live. “I’m a suburban mom,” “I’m a city professional,” “I’m a small-town retiree.” Moving can temporarily scramble that sense of self until you establish new roots.
Fear of the Unknown
Even positive changes create anxiety. Will I make friends? Will I regret this decision? What if I don’t fit in? These questions are normal parts of the moving process.
Overwhelm from Decisions
From choosing paint colors to finding a new grocery store, moving involves hundreds of small decisions that can feel exhausting when combined with the major life change.
The Five Emotional Stages of Moving (And How to Navigate Each One)
Based on my experience with the clients I’ve served, most people experience these emotional phases:
Stage 1: Excitement and Anticipation
“This is going to be amazing!”
The honeymoon phase where you’re focused on possibilities. Your Pinterest boards are full of decorating ideas, and you’re researching restaurants near your new home.
How to handle it: Enjoy this energy! Use it to tackle early tasks like researching your new community and starting to declutter.
Stage 2: Anxiety and Overwhelm
“What have I gotten myself into?”
Reality sets in as you realize the magnitude of what you’re undertaking. The to-do list feels endless.
How to handle it: Break tasks into small, manageable chunks. Celebrate small wins. Remember that feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re making the wrong choice.
Stage 3: Sadness and Loss
“I’m going to miss this place more than I expected.”
Even if you’re eager to leave, you’ll likely experience grief for what you’re leaving behind.
How to handle it: Allow yourself to feel sad. Create rituals to honor your old home—take photos, write in a journal, or have a farewell gathering.
Stage 4: Stress and Fatigue
“I just want this to be over.”
Moving day approaches, and you’re physically and emotionally exhausted.
How to handle it: Accept help from friends, family, or professionals. This isn’t the time to be a hero—it’s the time to delegate.
Stage 5: Relief and New Beginnings
“I think I’m going to love it here.”
You’re in your new space, boxes are mostly unpacked, and you’re starting to feel at home.
How to handle it: Be patient with yourself. Creating a sense of “home” takes time—typically 6-12 months to feel fully settled.
Special Considerations for Different Types of Moves
Empty Nesters and Downsizers
The transition from family home to smaller space often brings unexpected emotions about children growing up and life phases ending.
Strategy: Create a “memory room” in your new space with photos and special items from the family home years.
Seniors Moving for Health or Practical Reasons
When moves aren’t entirely by choice, processing feelings of loss of independence is crucial.
Strategy: Focus on what you’re gaining—safety, convenience, community—rather than only what you’re leaving behind.
Job-Related Relocations
Career moves often come with pressure to be grateful and excited, which can make it hard to acknowledge sadness about leaving.
Strategy: Give yourself permission to feel both excited about opportunities and sad about leaving. Both feelings can coexist.
First-Time Homebuyers
The transition from renting to owning can bring unexpected anxiety about responsibility and permanence.
Strategy: Remember that homeownership is a learning process. You don’t need to have everything figured out immediately.
Practical Strategies for Emotional Wellness During Your Move
Before You Move:
Create a Memory Book Document your current home with photos and write down favorite memories associated with different rooms or spaces.
Start Small Rituals Begin saying goodbye gradually. Take a final walk through your neighborhood, visit favorite local spots, or have dinner at your usual restaurant one last time.
Connect with Your New Community Early Join online groups, visit local establishments, or attend community events in your new area before moving day.
During the Moving Process:
Pack Mindfully As you handle belongings, allow yourself to remember their significance. It’s okay to feel emotional—it means these items and this home have mattered to you.
Keep a “First Day” Box Pack essentials that will help you feel at home immediately: favorite coffee mug, comfortable clothes, family photos, and a beloved book.
Maintain Routines Where Possible Keep some familiar habits during the chaos—morning coffee ritual, evening walks, or phone calls with loved ones.
After You Move:
Unpack Strategically Start with spaces that will help you feel most at home—often the bedroom and kitchen come first.
Explore with Intention Don’t pressure yourself to love everything immediately. Give yourself time to discover what you enjoy about your new area.
Stay Connected to Your Past Maintain friendships and traditions from your previous home while remaining open to new relationships and experiences.
When to Seek Professional Support
Moving-related stress is normal, but sometimes professional help can make the transition smoother:
- If anxiety is interfering with daily functioning
- If sadness persists beyond 2-3 months after moving
- If you’re struggling with major depression or panic attacks
- If family conflicts arise from disagreements about the move
Many clients benefit from a few sessions with a counselor who specializes in life transitions. There’s no shame in getting support during major changes.
The Gift of Acknowledging Your Feelings
Here’s what I’ve learned after helping families move: the people who struggle most are often those who try to push through without acknowledging their emotions. The ones who thrive give themselves permission to feel the full range of moving emotions while taking practical steps to care for themselves.
Remember Margaret and her wooden spoon? Six months later, she called to tell me that the spoon had become her favorite piece in her new kitchen. “It carried the love from my old home to my new one,” she said. “Now it’s making new memories.”
Your feelings about moving—whatever they are—deserve acknowledgment and respect. Moving isn’t just a logistical challenge; it’s an emotional journey that requires the same care and attention you’d give any other major life transition.
Making Your Move with Expert Support
Whether you’re planning a local move or relocating across states, having the right real estate professional can make all the difference in both the practical and emotional aspects of your transition.
As someone who has guided families through every type of move imaginable, I understand that my job goes far beyond contracts and negotiations. I’m here to support you through the entire emotional journey—from that first conversation about “maybe it’s time to move” to the moment you feel truly settled in your new space.
Every move is unique, and every person processes change differently. My role is to provide not just market expertise and logistical coordination, but also patience, understanding, and emotional support throughout your transition.
Ready to Begin Your Moving Journey with Confidence?
Don’t navigate this major life change alone. Whether you’re considering a move, actively planning one, or feeling overwhelmed by where to start, I’m here to help you create a transition plan that honors both your practical needs and emotional well-being.
Contact Alan Fishman, Your Transition Specialist:
📱 Cell: 301.518.8390 (Call or text anytime)
📧 Email: alan.fishman@cbrealty.com
🏢 Office: 717.762.7111
📍 Address: 1814 E. Main St., Waynesboro, PA 17268
🌐 Website: fishmanfindshomes.com
Licensed in Pennsylvania and Maryland
Let’s schedule a conversation about your moving goals. Together, we’ll create a plan that gets you where you want to go—both practically and emotionally.
Alan Fishman specializes in helping individuals and families navigate all types of residential moves throughout Pennsylvania and Maryland. He believes that addressing the emotional aspects of moving is just as important as handling the logistics, and works with clients to ensure smooth transitions at every level.
